Martha Stewart & the Art of Resilience
If I could pass one skill along to all of my clients, it would be resilience. Resilience is the most important trait a human being can have to sustain good mental health and successfully face life. One way to further promote your own resilience is to identify your values and commit to taking actions based on the things that matter to you, a key principle in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I also like to have an actual person to emulate when I’m trying to develop a new skill, so today I propose Martha Stewart as our resilience role model.
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead”
Spoiler alert: this is a terrible plan. But it’s a common refrain you hear on college campuses, in tech start ups with 80 hour work weeks, among new parents, etc. It’s said half in jest, but with an element of- eh, rest isn’t that important. People have so many other demands, this can feel like the easiest one to let up on. The problem is that lack of (or irregular/fragmented) sleep is one of the single best predictors for developing a mental health disorder. You are way more vulnerable to conditions like depression, anxiety and chronic burnout when you’re sleep deprived. Every organ in your body operates on a circadian rhythm, every hormone is regulated by our sleep/wake cycles. So while we think we can push through the lack of sleep, the price we pay is often steeper than people realize.
Orville Peck, mental health & me
If we in the mental health field know how to help people feel their feelings in a healthy way, i.e. a way that helps prevent the development of mental illness, why do the cultural norms around feeling emotions require the exact opposite? For example, have you ever felt ashamed for crying when you were sad? Embarrassed for being too excited or giddy? Foolish for earnestly trying something new and, like any beginner, sucking? Have you ever told someone you were doing really well, but in reality you felt terrible? Of course you have! Most of us have.