Therapy for ADHD

In-person & virtual therapy in San Francisco & the California area.

You were diagnosed with ADHD later in life.

You’re what they call a ‘high functioning ADHD’.

You had already developed some great coping skills. You did well in school… okay, it was always a hot mess, but you got it done. While you have the same diploma as everyone else in your graduating class, it was chaos getting there.

You have a job that you perform well at when the pressure is on. Ironically, when you have less to do, you’re more likely to get behind and let things slip.

But life is getting more complex in your 20’s & 30’s…

As all these adult responsibilities start to pile up, your ability to manage them with your old coping skills (pull an all nighter! drink way too much caffeine! wait until you’re in trouble to start working!) starts to unravel. It just doesn’t seem possible that you can show up for your job (on time??), cook meals (does peanut butter out of the tub count as meal prep?), pay taxes, answer emails, manage bills, do the dishes… etc. etc.— and not lose your mind out of boredom, frustration and despair.

But waiting until it’s a crisis to get tasks done is eating away at your self esteem.

Your friends are mad that you’re late to hang out (again). You jump when you get an email from your boss, sure that she’s finally noticed how behind you are. Some of the items on your to-do list have been there for months— no, years.

You alternate between intense excitement over the next project or hobby (ice skating! crocheting! learning Spanish!) where you buy everything you could ever possibly need to excel— to the paralysis of looking at all of your half finished projects and hobbies with a mixture of guilt and disappointment that they’ve all lost their luster. You can’t ever seem to stick to something after the initial thrill has worn off.

If other people are annoyed with you, it’s nothing compared to the intense frustration you feel with yourself.

Living in San Francisco, you’re surrounded by linear, driven people.

It’s hard not to compare yourself to the friends around you who just seem so together.

They have been saving for retirement while you amassed credit card debt. They have plans for a family, while you’re overwhelmed by the thought of just taking care of yourself.

You don’t necessarily want to be just like them (some of their lives look pretty dull), but you’re jealous of their seeming contentment in the completion of mundane tasks.

You don’t want to need intensity and stress to get things done.

*Quick-Pit-Stop-For-Research-Cuz-It’s-Super-Relevant-I-Swear*

In a study, researchers had participants play an online foraging game where they had to collect virtual berries from virtual bushes (ah, if our hunter-gatherer ancestors could see us now). Participants were instructed to hover their cursors over the bushes to collect the berries, which would yield less berries as time went on.

Participants with ADHD symptoms spent less time lingering on the bushes with declining yields. They were quicker to move on and seek their fortune in the next virtual bush— even though moving to the next bush meant they would have to pause their berry picking efforts for a brief time out. They were willing to take the risk when they sensed a diminishing return. And it worked!

At the end of the study, participants with ADHD had collected significantly more virtual berries than their neurotypical counterparts.

What does this mean for you?

It means that ADHD traits are difficult in the linear, modern world, but are probably a part of the human species for a reason. They helped us survive and are not inherent flaws.

Remember, we have only been dwelling in the linear-machine-oriented world for about 300-500 years. That’s it!

Before that, Homo sapiens were hunter-gatherers for about 200,000 years (not to mention the hunter-gatherer Homo genus ancestors that Homo sapiens descended from 2.8 million years before that!). This was followed by the Agricultural Revolution 12,000 years ago. The Scientific and Industrial Revolutions, which ushered in the current era of modernity, only took place about 300-500 years ago.

This means the same ADHD traits that are out of sync with the modern world were probably well suited for survival for most of human history.

Learning how to capitalize on your ADHD *strengths* is a skill that can be learned.

People with ADHD are exuberant, charismatic, funny. They are great problem solvers with shocking levels of determination. Their sensitivity and rich inner worlds give them an appreciation for beautiful art, music, and cuisine. They take risks and follow their hearts with a courage others find awe inspiring.

I can help you learn to hone your ADHD traits in a way that enhances your life. I can help you create a life that works for your unique way of being in the world, rather than trying to cram yourself into a mold.

HOW TO GET STARTED

Let’s chat

  • Step 1.

    Schedule a free 20 minute consultation. Or if you have a question, fill out my contact form and I’ll reach out to you.

  • Step 2.

     In our consultation, we discuss what you want support with and if my skill set overlaps. You get to see if we click. Trust your gut!

  • Step 3.

    We set up an initial 50 minute session. I send you intake paperwork. We meet and start the healing process ✨